New vegan restaurant Just Beet It changes name after a month due to “not one customer walking in laughing”

In a swift about-face, the newly established vegan eatery “Just Beet It” has decided to change its name after a mere month in business. The reason? Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with food quality or customer service (or even a Chipotle-esque listeria scare). No, according to owner Basil Dove, the decision was based solely on the absence of laughter from customers.

Mrs. Dove, an ardent proponent of a plant-based lifestyle, initially believed that the quirky name would attract attention and provoke some chuckles.

However, after a month of operation, the results were in: five smirks, two smiles, a singular guffaw (which could be confused with a laugh, but ultimately didn’t qualify), and a couple of “hehe”s. No laughs.

Steadfast in its belief in the power of humor in marketing—and realizing the need to rethink their approach—the vegan establishment has rebranded itself as “Leaf Me Alone.”

Reactions to the new name will be reported on as they come in.