Meta HR says “IRL firing is awkward,” conducts most recent wave of layoffs in Metaverse park

Rising interest rates continued to batter the tech industry on Thursday as tech giant Meta announced yet another reduction in workforce. And according to Meta’s HR, this time—and going forward—all terminations would occur in the blissful confines of a virtual Metaverse park.

Instagram’s parent company bid farewell to the days of tense face-to-face meetings and awkward office goodbyes. Instead, employees will be summoned to enter the immersive landscape of a Metaverse park—designed with features intended specifically to alleviate stress and anxiety—where the serene beauty of pixelated trees and fantastical creatures will theoretically help ease the pain of termination.

Meta HR justified this unorthodox approach by claiming that the Metaverse park offers a more relaxed atmosphere, easing the discomfort surrounding such conversations. “Who could resist feeling a touch of solace while surrounded by vibrant virtual landscapes and the comforting embrace of animated characters?” said Meta’s head of HR Sydney Cromwell.

Laura Brewer, 28, says she recently learned of her termination in the “Firing Forest,” as it’s come be known. She notes that Meta emailed her an hour after thanking her for her previous work, and then adding, “We hope the fake swings helped ease the blow of your very real unemployment.”